Getting Spicy at FamilyMart
FamilyMart is launching two habanero-flavored chikis:
Habanero Famichiki
Habanero Crispy Chicken
What is the difference between the Famichiki and the Crispy Chicken?
According to FamilyMart it’s: "JUWA! Spicy" for Famichiki and “KARI! Spicy” for crispy chicken. Makes sense.
I don’t see this going well for Crispy Chicken. This is like me going on a double date with a shirtless Ryan Reynolds. At 5’6” with greying hair, I can hold my own with bad jokes and genuine curiosity. But put me next to that hottie and I look like a fucking trash can.
Hey Ho! Halo Halo
Ministop’s legendary Halo Halo continues to kick ass with the latest pineapple flavor. Just look at the masterpiece? I mean REALLY look at it. Imagine those sweet juices drooling down that soft vanilla cream as you plunge your spoon into shards of frozen pineapple flesh….
I’m getting a bit off track.
If you’re ever feeling down just check out the Halo Halo story page on Ministop’s website. It features every flavor ever released by year beginning in 1995.
They’ve already pumped out six flavors in 2022 and claim two are SOLD OUT — Ramune and Lemon Cola. Get the remaining four while they’re still available!
They say money can’t buy happiness. I disagree! Because for 338 yen you get pretty damn happy.
Rich Cheese at Lawson
Last year Lawson pioneered stuffing sauce under karagekun’s skin. In the conbini world, it’s the biggest technological breath-through since the onigiri parachute wrap. And broadly considering, I’d put it up there with small module nuclear reactors and Dall•E 2.
At last, they’ve used this powerful technology to stuff A LOT of cheese under karagekun’s skin.
It’s like Donald Trump’s combover but with more volume and less likelihood of criminal prosecution.
Grab yourself two or three tall boys, a box of these, a habanero chiki, and that pineapple Halo Halo and call it a lifetime. It won’t get better than that.
From the Dumpster
FamilyMart has partnered with UFO to launch the Monster Yakisoba Dog. We’ve seen carbs on carbs in dog form before. But the mysterious white cream is a novelty. Because it’s a savory sandwich, I’m guessing it’s mayonnaise. But the traditional white cream served in such a bun is whipped cream.
I’d believe either. But gun to my head, I’d say it’s mayonnaise. And then I’d pull the trigger just to end the madness.
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