Japan's Secret to Beating the Summer Heat
And Ministop releases another Dream Combo parfait
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Japan’s summer is a monster. It’s a haunting steam that wraps your body in a sticky, hot cloud, making every skin pore whistle like a boiling tea kettle. Sweat doesn’t seep, it floods. Within minutes of walking outside you’re glistening in a salty froth so wet that skin, underwear, shirt, and trousers fuse into a single soaked mass.
Japan has plenty of ways to beat the heat: kakigori, Pocari Sweat, generous air conditioning. But there’s one source of relief that is better than the rest: Gatsby Cool Wipes.
These are single-use wet tissues that have several properties: cooling, deodorant, and cleaning. Peel one off and slather it across the back of your neck – sparkling in sweat – and feel instant relief. Don’t stop at your neck. Pinch your shirt collar and wash your shoulders; reach behind and lather your upper back. Feel an icy river running somewhere high up in the Alps scream through your sweltering soul. I’ve never used hard drugs like heroin and meth. But I’ve used Gatsby Cool Wipes in August in Japan. Dear God, it's good.
Every resident of Japan should keep at least two packets on them at all times. When one runs empty, you’ve got a backup that’ll provide the lead time to replenish the empty. You’ll never run dry. Keep them in a holster like Yosemite Sam keeps his six-shooter for easy access.
Mandom, the company that makes Gatsby Cool Wipes, sells five flavors: Ice Citrus, Ice Fruity, Freeze Peach, Soap Scented, and Unscented. Play the field and see what works best. Just make sure the package has 氷冷 (hyourei) printed on it. 氷 means ice and 冷 means freezing. According to the online dictionary Weblio, this isn’t even a real word. Mandom had to invent it because no existing combination of kanji characters adequately communicated their wipes’ intense cooling sensation.
Of course, come summer, every conbini carries Gatsby Cool Wipes. When Japan’s humidity has turned you into a soggy, sopping walking dish towel, find double relief in the conbini’s blizzard of air conditioning and generous stock of Gatsby. Wash whatever parts of your body you can reach without breaking indecency laws, then cruise through the urban tropics feeling cool as can be.
Item of the Week
Ministop has been running a parfait campaign called Dream Combo, whereby they combine two well-known desserts into one. Back in March, they released the Strawberry Pudding Parfait, which mashed up a strawberry parfait and pudding parfait into one unholy combo.
Then in May they released the second in the series: Mango and Peach. This was not as exciting as the debaucherous strawberry and pudding combo, but still exciting.
This week, they released the third Dream Combo: Shirokuma and Mango. Shirokuma, which translates to "white bear" or "polar bear," is not about the animal but is actually a renowned dessert from Kagoshima." At its core, Shirokuma is a type of kakigori made from finely shaved, fluffy ice, resulting in a soft, snow-like texture. This base is typically enriched with sweetened condensed milk, imparting a creamy texture and sweet flavor. It's further adorned with an array of vibrant toppings like strawberries, kiwi, and pineapple, sweet red azuki beans, and occasionally, mochi or jelly cubes, enhancing both its taste and visual allure. Versions abound, including a popsicle and ice cream cup sold at the conbini, which resemble America’s frozen pudding ice cream flavor.
Ministop’s Dream Combo starts with a layer of fluffy ice, then a squirt of condensed milk syrup, followed by a colorful mix of mango, mandarins, pineapple, azuki beans, and cube jelly. Naturally, a pile of vanilla soft serve adorns the top.
From the Dumpster
FamilyMart has released a beef tongue stick studded with four types of cheese – gouda, parmesan, cheddar, and camembert. It looks less like beef jerky and more like infested body parts. FamilyMart’s description doesn’t help: “It’s a smoked tongue stick characterized by its crunchy texture.”
This is a hard pass.
Conbini Haiku
Sticky, hot summer
Death creeping up on me ‘til
Gatsby Cool Wipe
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